Socialism? Facism? How about Obamaism?

Anyone else feel like they got fucked over in their recent forced acquisition of General Motors? The sad truth is that we shouldn't be mad...we should be scared. It creates a very dangerous precident when the federal government can step in, tell you who to hire and fire, take ownership of your company, and 97% of that president's race sees nothing wrong with it. Bailouts, "stimulus," subsidized rail (Amtrak anyone?). All of these things are more bullshit that we continue to digest because it comes from the Savior. If you thought you voted for change, you're a fucking idiot. You voted for the same shit that can read copy well. Bush sucked, Obama sucks. It doesn't matter what asshole you vote for, you're voting for the same beliefs. I thought Obama was going to cut down on pork spending? What do you call our current $1 TRILLION (yes, with a "t") defecit. Does anyone realize how scary that number is? What happens if China (who owns >50% of our debt) collapses in this global recession? There should be thoughts of the former USSR before it collapsed.

What really has angered me is how the douchebags on CNN were bashing those who chose to take part in the "tea parties." If it was an Obama Kool-Aid fest you can damn well guarantee that Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper would be on their knees sucking on the Barak cock (get that one out of your head). These people at the tea parties weren't GOP, conservatives, or extremeists. These were pissed off Americans. They've seen Congress and the Presidents keep spending and spending their money like it was a business trip's per diem account. These are people who have realized that enough is enough. You can't keep spending our money on useless expenses. WE are your boss. If you won't respect our tax dollars then we'll find someone that can. Failing to question our government when our rights are being impeded on is as un-American as communism.

I truly love my country, but fear for its future.

Musings of an Immature (soon to be) 24 Year Old.

It's been a very interesting year for me. I've fallen into a job that I don't hate but I wish the pay was more (no shit Sherlock). I struggle to get by financially every week, but so far I'm keeping my nose above the water. I do like the aspect of my job in the Pharmacy that I do get to help people, but I can't help but think the job has made me even more bitter to the economically inept. Don't get me wrong: there are some people on Medicaid/care that don't abuse the system. But, it's the jackoffs that complain that their OxyContin Rx costs $2. What's even more angering is when you KNOW they're just selling them anyways.There was a time when I felt that public aid was essential to the strength of our nation, but working with these people on a daily basis has made me realized that medical care really should not be a "right." It is a privilege to those who have worked hard enough to receive such benefits.

In somewhat related job news, I have no idea if I'm even going to have my other job after the 1st of the year. The owner has put the place up for sale and no one even knows if we're going to open for New Years Eve. Anyone who's ever worked in a bar just picked their jaw up off the floor. There's 5 big days for a bar in a college town: move-in weekend, homecoming, New Years, St. Patrick's day, and graduation. These are (usually) guaranteed income for the drink slingers and says alot for the current economic situation of the establishment.

Over this last break I truly realized how many friends I've become distanced from. I really am down to one hand on people I know I could call tomorrow and grab a beer with. I'm currently attributing that to 60+ hour work weeks but I'm probably lying to myself.

My dad's feeling shitty again. Does it sound bad if I say I'm used to it at this point? The doctor's keep thinking that an infection has settled into the dormant kidneys. Common sense would tell you that maybe it's time to do something about it rather than shoving antibiotics down his throat that is doing nothing more than building his tolerance up where the drugs will be ineffective when he's actually sick. Genius fuckers those doctor's are...

The Blue Jackets looked impressive in their win tonight against a chippy Flyers team. Steve Mason is the goalie of the future for the franchise as he picked up his 3rd shutout of the year/his career. Want a good stat line for the Calder Trophy? .932 sv% and 1.87 GAA. In case you're keeping track, that GAA is #1 in the league with his % good enough for #3.

First of the year: diet/exercise. Drew's got to meet him a good woman who's hopefully financially independent.

My job sent down a memo that they wanted us to start using a motto at the out window: "Take care, be well." I don't fucking think so. I'm not a robot, I'm going to be genuine. If someone's picking up an antibiotic I'm going to tell them to get better. If it's a Friday, I'm going to tell them to have a good weekend. If someone's picking up their Viagra I'm going to tell them to have a good evening (damn straight they will, going to hit that shit like a hammer to a nail). What's wrong with these big corporations that they want to take away all personality from their employees? Do we live in that bad of PC environment that we have to talk like emotionless eunuchs in fear of pissing off Mr. Muslim-Buddhist-Christian-Atheist-(Chuck)Norissan?

Fantastic song of the moment:

Peace y'all.

An Update?! Wh-what?!

Once every 5 months is considered frequent updating....right? Two jobs and attempting to balance a social life in there has been a bit of a task. I feel like I've abandoned a lot of people I really care about on the premise of being able to live from paycheck to paycheck. Hamster on the wheel? Pretty much. I find my moments of sanity between work and alcohol to be truly special times where I'm able to consider my life in its current state. I think I'm doing pretty well in terms of what the typical 23 year old deals with:

• Living on my own? Check
• A reliable job(s) that pays well. 
• A family that I love and couldn't live without.
• That one person that loves you for you and that you dream about life at 60 with.

I'd say I'm doing decently list wise and despite the fact I know the Blue Jackets probably will never be more than a joke in the NHL, the Indians will never win a World Series, and the Bengals will continue to be the Bungles, I've associated myself with some great people that are making my early life crisis a little easier to bear.

I truly and wonderfully want to believe that there's someone out there for me and that I will get that at sometime in the near future. But when you look around and realize you're starting to go from wedding to wedding and feeling like a 3rd wheel that truth can feel like getting slapped in the face at 4am; you just want to close your eyes and forget it but you can't shake the pain. I find that at times like this it's important to remember the list above. Not only do I have so many wonderful people in my life, but I can rest a little easier knowing that Karma takes care of the world and my uppin's will come. I've saved my dad's life, I've worked my ass off to support myself, and I treat my friends like kings and queens. Still, it's hard to wake up everyday feeling like the past 23 years have been something I can look back on in my death bed with a smile.

 I think more than anything it's important in times like this to remember your past and to compare how life would have been had you not made the "hard" decisions.

Q: What if I never came to BG and went to school at home? A: I would have regretted living on my own and experiencing the life lessons from all the people I've met in 4 years.

Q: What if my dad never got sick/What if I hadn't donated? A: I never would have forgave him for the rough patches of my childhood and wouldn't have the (at least) talking relationship that him and I have. I also probably never would have heard him say that he loved me (which happened this year for the first time).

Q: What if I would have had enough money to continue on with school? A: I couldn't have appreciated how difficult things are right now and I wouldn't have the pride I have to look in the mirror and know the scruffy looking bastard looking back is making it despite the idea that those who aren't grads can't survive this world.

I'm not going to lie: it's hard to look at my current situation in all facets of life and say that I'm not lonely. I'm lonely as hell and I wish that one day I'm not left with a lot of this emptiness I feel now. But, I'm not a religious/Christian man and I'm not going to put my future feelings in the hand of an immortal. I'm merely hoping that the universe continues to take care of itself like I know it does. A lot of people could probably look at my current situation and be angry and how "little" I've accomplished. It's when I hear statements like that where I truly feel that no one appreciates how much I've gained through accomplishing such "little." I'm not making $100,000/year, I'm not managing a Fortune 500, but I am working my ass off to accomplish the little things like paying bills and surviving myself. I really feel like this song wraps up a lot of what I'm feeling, and my one of my favorite current artists:

Walls Can Hurt

Anyone who truly knows me (and there are few that do) know that I'm horribly stubborn. I don't want to be told what to do, what to think, or how to live my life. I won't even listen to my mom on some things, and I trust her more than anyone in the world (insert Momma's Boy joke here). With the past 2 years of my life being the most trying of my short life, I've really let myself go physically, mentally, and emotionally. This has taken a toll on me and it's really been apparent the past couple of months. It's only within the past couple of weeks that I've really brought myself to a lot of realizations about my present and future. I've realized that I'm not that shy 13 year old anymore. I'm 23 years old and by most accounts an adult. I don't want superficial friendships where I'm used as a time filler. I don't want to be a 3rd wheel to friends who are couples. I just want to have a small group of people who I can rely on to know when somethings wrong and will help me through those times. I don't know if I have that right now, and I'm not sure how much longer I can go without it either. I don't think this is a call for help, I just need to work on being a better person and better friend.

I'm Not Useless Anymore!

For any of you wondering how my trip to Mobile was, let me re-iterate the high points of the trip:

- Bars open 24 hours/day.
- No open container laws.
- Beautiful southern girls with accents.

As far as I'm concerned, there was no football game. BG did not set a record for worst defeat in bowl history. Period.

The biggest news right now is I got a "real" job. I got hired to be a pharmacy technician at the Walgreen's opening in BG. It's by no means a job where I'll be making a fortune, but it does open a lot of of doors for me. This does mean that I'll probably be done with classes for awhile, and hopefully holding onto my job at Junction. I'm going to have a lot of bills coming up so money is at a premium.